Ourselves as others see us

You know that moment when everything turns inside out and suddenly you see yourself from the outside and you realize how fucking stupid you are?  I can't guarantee you've had one of these moments but I'll go out on a limb and guess yes.

Anyway, I've had them, frequently (and recently), and here's another now.  I'm genuinely horrified by myself.

I'm going to attempt to give up blogging.  I can't guarantee I will, because I may decide that since no one ever reads this, it doesn't matter if it's poorly written and merely chronicles my total failure as a human being.  

I know it sounds weak to say I'll try harder not to be a repetitive idiot.  However, I will try harder.

Also, I will get some sleep.  And possibly delete this in the morning.  Things look better in the morning, sometimes.