It feels like I'm on a first date, and I'm not entirely sure what I want from the relationship. I'm at the table looking at a stranger, and I'm faced with the task of constructing a self for that person. I'm aware I could lie, that the beauty of the tabula rosa is the ability to redraw, but it's hard enough being truthful with oneself, why waste the effort with extra dishonesty?
So here I am, trying to decide what to tell you. Unlike a first date, I want to tell you whatever amuses me most in the telling. I say unlike -- I'd have much more fun if that were my thought on every date. I have a habit of responding to people in kind: that is, I try to adjust myself according to the company. Faced with the blank screen, all responsive cues are eliminated and I am adrift, briefly. It is not unpleasant.
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