The Part I Like

I like going to the gym. Wait, that's a lie. I hate going to the gym, but I like leaving the gym. I like the sensation of having completed my exercise, and the rush of the endorphins. But this is commonplace. What I really like about the gym is looking at other women in the locker room.

Now, I am a woman, and have spent my life as a fairly modest and respectful woman. If I'm around someone else getting dressed, I don't stare. I don't tend to undress in company. But apparently none of the rules of modesty apply in a locker room. I don't remember this from high school locker rooms so it was a surprise. Women walk around stark-naked, stand under hairdryers stark-naked, put their clothing and makeup back on with the greatest nonchalance. And it is all easy viewing.

It's not a sexual thrill - I imagine if I were bisexual or homosexual it would be a thrilling place, however my enjoyment stems from utter fascination. I have never seen so many different women's bodies. The women in my gym come in such a myriad of shapes - tiny, taut women with pure muscle all the way to great, blubbery whales of creatures. Plus, and here's the part I love, everything in between.

It makes me realize how much I've swallowed the magazine myth. Sure, as an educated woman, I "know" women's bodies in magazines are idealized. I know Hollywood films have certain standards of beauty. I know television has a mold from which it rarely strays. But knowing intellectually that media has offered me a template from which all women deviate is different from being able to summon, in my mind's eye, a smorgasboard of different combinations. Tall, slender, with big hips. Large, short, bulbous. There's a woman who looks as if her muscles are steel but somehow she has about a half-inch of gelatinous flesh that covers these steel pistons. Another woman has absolutely no spare tissues between her muscles and skin, a sort of greyhound efficiency in her movement.

I have yet to see anyone in my gym who actually has a perfect body.

Interesting - that's what I mean. I say "perfect body" as if there is indeed one setup that I can refer to, as if anyone reading this would know immediately what I mean. In the dressing room I can hear the myths exploding, over and over, like a fireworks display.

I've never had such access to women's bodies, I find it electrifying. I especially like the large women who stand around naked, in no hurry to clothe themselves. I like the idea that, here it is, here's my body, and I don't have anywhere to be but in it, so don't expect me to cover it up like I'm supposed to be ashamed of it.

It is an education for an educated woman.