Daaaarrrllliiinnnngggg

I think actors are funny. Now, I know I'm technically one of them, and so to class myself outside the bounds seems self-delusional, but I do make a distinction between actors, and "Ac-TORS" (stress on the second syllable). For me, there's a difference between someone who works as an actor and tries to do it well, and the thousands of different combinations of diva and look-at-meism from another kind of actor. I've been lucky in Chicago to work with a lot of the former, people who genuinely want to tell a story. I work with both types here.

Most of the time, I don't mind. Ac-TORS are funny, as they are usually revealing every insecurity they have with every word. The part that has bothered me in the last month is that the people I work with are lavish in their compliments, but I can't trust them. They mean well, but do they actually mean anything at all? I've no idea. I doubt they even know. Much of it is a knee-jerk reaction to working alongside each other - the compliments are because I'm standing there, and they want to be nice. I try not to do the same, I try to say nice things to the people I truly am impressed with, but I have fallen prey to it as well. Sometimes you're stuck in a room with someone and not telling them they are fabulous makes you look like a jerk.

I'd prefer to hear nothing to hearing suspect, possibly empty praise, only because the praise confuses me. I had 10 days of rehearsal. I'm turning out passable performances, not brilliant ones. The constant diet of "wow, you're so talented" bugs me because I know those comments are empty calories, and however much I try to ignore them, there doesn't seem to be much sturdier fare on offer: I don't know if there is anyone here whose comments I could actually trust.

I should be grateful - at least I'm being complimented consistently. If they thought I was dreadful, there would be a suspicous silence. I do get useful criticism on rare occasions as well.

Interestingly, we had a scathing review of Fiddler. The reviewer was a woman who publishes her reviews online, and who had mostly positive things to say about South Pacific (which I though overall was a worse production than Fiddler). She hated our Tevye, thought none of us managed to be "ethnic" enough, and complained we all seemed to be acting in different plays. Teyve was a standup comedian a la Bob Hope, I was playing Golde as Mother Courage, our Lazar Wolf playing in a realistic style and the rest of the children were turning in shiny Broadway performances. It's hard to take this reviewer seriously, a woman who will make such statements as "First and worst don’t rhyme for nothing." In a completely different review, mind you. But somehow, I think she may be right about Fiddler's shortcomings! So it confuses me how she can see the show and hate it, but all we hear from audience members is how good we are.

I guess it's a question of audiences. Our audiences are old. Exceptionally old. And we are churning out a season of live movies for them. Someone backstage complained about not having originality in a show, and I couldn't help saying, "That's not what this theatre is about. That's just not the gig." We're here to give people a live version of something they've already seen. It makes them happy.

And I'm left wondering, is the fact that we're keeping audiences happy enough?