CATS!!!!

Well, I'll be damned. As of tomorrow, we really will open a production of Cats. I am stunned it has come together so well, although my vantage point is somewhat limited. I am not in the show at all, but an ever-changing group of people are singing off-stage at any given time. "Pit-singers", we're called, but we are not actually in the pit at all - there's no room. We're set up in the lobby, where we have: 1) a microphone to sing into - the sound guy mixes us in with the rest of the audio, 2) a monitor so we can hear what's going on onstage, 3) a tv screen with a view of our music director to watch for tempos and cues, and 4) a tv screen with a view of the stage.

When the stage lights are on, all the colors get washed out and everyone on stage looks like a white blob, so it's hard to tell how well the show is actually going, but you can get a feel for it. We've been teching the show for two days (Tuesday from 2pm to 1:30 am, today from 1pm to 5pm before an 8 pm show), and until this evening, we had never run it all the way through without stopping. I thought it might be a train wreck, but it was pretty amazing, at least as far as the white blobs go.

It leaves me with mixed feelings. Yeah, it would have been nice to be in the show. It feels awkward, being here as an actor but apparently being a poor enough dancer that they couldn't find any place to use me in the show. Well, I think the decision also involved the postage stamp that is the stage and how only a certain number of people fit on it when dancing, as well as the ornate and extensive costumes in the show and the impossibility of the shop making even more than they had calculated. But also, I'm not a very good dancer.

So, I've wallowed in a little self-pity about that over the last week or so. Yesterday and today I found the silver lining, which is that I DO finally get a moment to breathe. I have been reading David Copperfield during tech. I did my laundry during the dinner break. I don't have to wear a fuzzy, furry, knitted costume in 90 degree weather. I don't have to apply intense, complicated makeup to look like a cat.

Of course, I get comments like this (from the theatre's photographer): "So, you really are nothing in the show, hunh?"

I can weigh that against the fact that a couple of people tonight said they missed seeing me in this show after the last three, so those kind of comments equal out.

I guess it doesn't matter. I am NOT in the show, no matter whether I feel happy about it or depressed, so I will, as far as possible, choose to be happy.

The really fun part has been the opportunity to sit outside of the show and watch it, and to watch so many of my great co-workers being amazing in it. I may wish I could have been in it somewhere, but it is great to see some people who have been in the background playing small roles suddenly spring into a full life. I have a renewed respect for everyone I work with. Even a couple of people I had secretly decided were terrible have suddenly become incredible with a leotard and some fancy makeup. They are, god forgive me, in it to win it. I'd love to be part of it, but for the moment, I will take the extra rest that comes with singing a handful of numbers and helping with a few quick changes. It is partly a relief to relax into being unimportant.

And hey, I'll have more time to write posts! And they'll be about Cats!