Sigh

I sent my mother pictures of the wedding dress I bought. And her comment to my Dad was, well, it needs to be altered.

Yes. I think about 99% of all wedding dresses are altered. (Another 75% of them are altared. Ha!) Why is this such a surprise? Or for that matter, why does this reflect badly on the dress? Because let me assure you, this comment does indicate dissatisfaction with the dress. My mother has infinite code words, like a real estate agent hiding the true nature of a house, to obfuscate and mask her displeasure, but the displeasure is clear even when its causes are not. The sentence, "Well, you're the one who needs to be happy with it" might as well end with, "because I certainly am not."

I know what you're thinking, you think I'm being paranoid. Perhaps. And in the end, it doesn't matter because a) I've already bought the dress, and b) she's not the one wearing it. But it's sort of the same niggly fretfulness I have about my lovely finance. I'm not entirely, 100% sure my parents adore him. I think they like him, I think they're happy for me, but there are a few well-placed silences that could have multiple causes, and I can't quite decipher them.

Let me be clear that the same a) and b) apply. I love the man, I picked him, no one has to marry him but me. If they DON'T adore him, I'm still going for it. And the reticence I notice might be more because they don't want to lose their little girl (though, at 33, I would think they'd be more than happy to get me off their hands) or because who wants their artist daughter marrying another artist? We are definitely signed up for a hard row to hoe together. A nice architect might have made things a little easier, especially one who lived south of the Mason-Dixon line.

I love and respect my parents, so I can't help that their opinion matters to me. But they've never come right out with that opinion. A friend of mine wanted to know, "Can't you just ask them?"

Hahaahahahahaahahaahaahaha.

No. They're from the South. Direct questioning is not effective. It's like going deer hunting and asking, "Why don't you just walk right up to the deer and shoot it?" Because it runs away, silly.

Anyway, they like my honey. I know that. He's funny, and caring, and he clearly cares about me, and they know I love him enough to marry him, and anything they don't say is to stay out of the way of our chance at a happy marriage. Which I can appreciate.

All of which is why I would really have been glad if my mother REALLY LOVED my wedding dress.

Maybe once it's been altered.