Thursday, August 07, 2008

Michigan and such

So, two weeks in Michigan doing Shakespeare outdoors - fantastic. I had one rough patch right in the middle where I got grumpy and pissy, but otherwise I had a beautiful time. I couldn't do this job all the time, because that part of Michigan is just vacation land, and this led to me eating way too much pie and other bad-for-me things. But aside from the unfortunate weight gain, it was the best acting job ever.

The theatre is a bandshell outdoors and the audience sits on a hillside and watches the show - gorgeous. Amazing to watch the sun go down over that hill. The audiences were lovely - so appreciative and so friendly. I couldn't help wishing I could be in the plays more so that I could entertain everyone more!

It was a very motley crew we took up, and I had (have) mixed feelings...not so much bad and good feelings, but affection mixed with utter caution. Some of these people are involved in dramas I want no part of. Some of them are involved in substances that increase the drama. I found myself wishing for a real grownup along - just one, because of course if everyone is a grownup the parties are no fun. But one real grownup would have waded in and settled some things definitively.

I'm being vague on purpose - I like (in many cases adore) these people, so I would hate to imagine one of them coming across this and getting the wrong idea.

Two weeks in Michigan made me realize again I'm not very good in group dynamics - I have less than a perfect track record in groups or with group mentalities. Fortunately, I was in this case able to just go along with the flow. I have had groups that I felt totally comfortable with and could completely be myself - maybe next year with these folks. Not that they aren't great, I just do better the second time around with these things.

Here's an example of my grumpy period. A woman came up from Chicago to visit, call her Sadie. For about four days, all I heard all day long was how fantastic she was. "Oh, Sadie's awesome, she's the best ever at everything and everyone likes her. She has no faults, she's both powerful and kind, and every one that meets her wants to fall down at her feet and worship her."

Maybe not those exact words, but that was the general sense. I was, of course, perversely irritated and had every intention of despising this angel.

Joke's on me - she really WAS a magnificent creature, with fascinating background and care for those around her. And I was delighted to meet her, and after that I kind of had to get over myself for a while.

Other than a few episodes of true jealousy, I really had a great time. Lots of water sports, we were staying on a lake and got to hang out on the dock during our copious free time. Most of what craziness there was didn't ruin anything for me. And I was exceptionally happy when my husband finally arrived...it was glorious to go exploring the terrain with him.

I gathered enough bliss from two weeks in Michigan to keep me calm during a weekend with my mother out in San Diego. We went out for my college roommate's wedding, which was absolutely lovely. For me it was a great combination of realizing how glad I was I got married and all the good things I can remember from the wedding (the unpleasantness is fading), and then on the other hand being jealous in moments that my roomie had managed to do x, y, or z that I didn't get around to during or for my wedding. It was a great time, though, and I think my mother was on her best behavior - not a single word about what I should or shouldn't wear, plunging necklines and all. Not a whipser of my needing to lose five pounds. (It's always five, even when it was more like 15-20 I needed to lose.)

My husband had hoped that I would get something along the lines of: "I'm so glad we did it our way at YOUR wedding," from my mother. But I predicted correctly that mom would have a great time and would have found such comments rude. However, I'm happy to note that she didn't stoop to "I wish you'd done it THIS way," which was a relief. I am trying to come to terms with never having my mother's approval, and it's a lot easier when I'm not getting blatant DISapproval.

We managed to stay cordial and Mom really had a great time - she had wanted to be there very badly, and I am glad I could assist. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and only wished I could have been more help to my roommate. All the details were done weeks or months ago, and the whole event was very well-planned. I just wish I could have made some part of the festivities easier or more fun for her.

Nonetheless, I am very happy I got to be a part of everything, and it was a lovely wedding.

Wow - nearly three weeks I enjoyed entirely! Yay!

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