I managed to walk right into the sharp oven door today (sharp because it's missing its cover, ow) and I was cursing and making arghy noises and my husband rushed in (the way he does when I make these noises, because as he confessed to me today, I sound as if I have chopped off my finger). He put his arms around me and made kind soothing sounds and as I stood there, feeling pissy and in pain and pitiful, I actually said out loud....
"I know, I know. I need to be in a play."
Because none of this raging bear in the woods act goes down when I feel actualized. When I feel my soul is being used. When I have worth because my energy is going into something I care about.
It sounds as if I am saying I wouldn't have walked into the oven door if I were in a play. Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I wouldn't have. Sound crazy? Yes. Held up by historical fact? Yup.
You watch - all this self-pity and whining...it may not evaporate, but it will lighten considerably come June 6. Well, I think. I might not be quite excited enough for that project, but I think even a bit part in something will flip my switch to the "on" position.
I certainly hope so. It's like having to wait for weeks between fixes. One gets the DTs.
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