Worrying

Certain experiences and ideas are so deep seated (deep seeded?) that no amount of reprogramming can correct them.

Hmmm.  I write that and it sounds true-ish but unconvincing.

I don't have anything new to report, and suddenly that feels like my fault entirely - have I tried hard enough?  Have I made any real attempt to get the things I actually want since last I whined or complained? Have I even taken the time to see outside of my little bubble recently?

And how am I planning to earn $600 to pay for these tickets I just bought to go visit my family?

But I also feel a deep failure of creativity - I feel like if I truly had anything to offer the world, I have given it the old college try and the world has said, repeatedly and clearly, no thank you, we've had better.