Ok. The awesome project has closed. I feel like my stomach is a balloon that just got a tiny puncture, and the air is leaking out, slowly, ever so slowly, but no matter what, the air is seeping out, and deflation is imminent.
Right now, there's just enough air that I'm all right. I've got a lot to do tomorrow, I'm trying to focus on that. It'll be a busy week after all, and I might try to go see some theatre, start catching up on talking to friends and exercising and, of course, work.
I don't want it to end. Of course, I do in a way - I want a new challenge, and new people to meet, and even a few weekends off to go visit people and do something different. But I don't want working to end, and that's what's hard - I don't have a next show booked, and it feels so tentative, just having to keep auditioning. Will I ever be one of those people who move from project to project?? There's no way to know. I have a LOT to learn about my craft before that happens, I'm afraid. In a way, working shows me my limitations far more than my strengths. But I want to keep working so I can try to develop beyond my limitations.
I'm not sure I'm making enough sense to keep typing. I wanted to note some of the awesomeness of the awesome project - that it was a lovely group of people working on a story they could believe in, and that I was so so so lucky to be one of them. I don't mind that it has to end but I want more experiences like this, and I don't know how long I'll have to wait until the next one. But I'm so pleased and gratified and grateful to have had this one.
I'm honored.
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