What a difference

I forget every single time.  I get bogged down in something that isn't theatre - no rehearsals, not in a show, whatever - and I forget that I physically need it, like Vitamin C, to function.  Then I get a dose from somewhere and, bam!  I perk up, the jaundice fades, life gets sparky again.

This does worry me about having a baby. Naturally.  Heh.  Because it's definitely going to be a while until I can do much of anything.  Heh.

But guys!  Guys!  I did a play reading last night, and I felt so differently afterwards it was astonishing.  And here's the nice part - reading that play, sitting there trying to do justice to a story with lots of other people to bounce off of and react to, I could actually feel power coming back online.  I could feel the medicine working.  And I could feel myself being good at this.

Ok, that sounds obnoxious.  Sorry.  There are still lots of people who are way better.  I don't mean I'm amazing.  But I can say I have experience and enthusiasm, and even occasional flashes of talent.  It was a really lovely night.

On the strength of it, I managed to get the hell out of bed this morning and exercise, and start working my way through a pile of things that need to get done.  Because when you're an actor, you're supposed to act, or else what's the use of talking?  And when you do act, you get the nutrients you need from life.

Bless that man for asking me to take part.  And universe....you need to book me something for after this baby.  Because I want to be there and enjoy it and have a great time having a kid, and I will be worse than useless if there's nothing to give me this feeling.