Callback and forth

So, things are going well professionally, at a time when I had planned to be free to do a lot of traveling.  Well, horse piss.  I've been trying to think of it as a no-lose situation - if I book this super cool project, I make a nice chunk of money, earn my Equity card, and get some probably high profile exposure in a show that's likely to be pretty moving and good.  And even if I don't, I've probably made a good impression on people who are booking professional actors for well paid work.  Plus, if I don't book this project, I will actually be free to do a bunch of traveling that I keep saying I will get around to and never get around to.

So, no-lose, right?  Win-win?  Boy, if only I could feel like this more often, I think I would perform so much more effectively in auditions.

Well, we'll see.  My impression of my good impression may be highly rose-tinted, and I know they saw a ton of great people.  There's just such a specific energy in a room when you seem to be doing well, when you seem to be giving them what they are looking for.  Years ago, I went to a callback and starting singing and the two co-directors looked at each other and nodded slightly and I thought, "Yeah, I just booked this."  And I had.  But equally, I had a long drawn-out audition a few years ago that continued and continued and continued - I sang, I read sides (bits of the script, that is), I sang from the show, I read with someone else who was auditioning, I sang again.  The accompanist came out for a bathroom break at one point and said in a whisper, "That was great."  So it all seemed positive, but I never heard a peep from them.  That one didn't faze me, but it did remind me that my sixth sense of how I'm doing is flawed at best.  And that you never know what the discussion is like on the other side of the table, and what sorts of things go into a final decision.

So now, we just live our lives.  Maybe eat a(nother) cookie or two.  Plan dream trips but don't book them.

If I can just keep auditioning like that, it'll all work out eventually.