Time moving so fast

I feel as if it's been three months since I made a post, time is moving so fast.  Everything is happening, all RIGHT NOW, and there's not a moment to stop and write about it.  Had a lovely weekend, have finally started going to auditions, and in general I'm scrambling to keep up with everything this week so I can be on vacation next week.

What's happening is either personal and private enough that writing about it in a public forum seems foolish or silly or crass, or it hasn't seemed interesting enough to chronicle.

However, here's something that happened that doesn't fit in either camp.

Recently, I was at a general audition.  I looked around and didn't know anyone - and the room was absolutely full of people - crammed full.  Most of these people were very young, and at least two things dawned on me.  One, I was looking at the newest crop of graduates and new arrivals and freshly anointed actors.  Two, the reason I didn't know them is that for the past year and a half, I have been outrageously lucky enough (and it is luck, absolutely) to work with people who are exceptionally experienced, who have the kind of experience I can only dream about, who have longevity in this business.  I have been working with professionals, and this was a room full of wannabe professionals.

Another glance showed me that a lot of those wannabe professionals are making what seemed like massive mistakes in how they present themselves.

This has very little to do with talent.  I'll bet some of those people can sing me under the table and I guarantee you some of them will be hired by this theatre while I probably won't be.  But the way they were dressed!  The things they were saying to each other!  The songs they were choosing to sing!  Some of what I saw seemed so obviously unfortunate.  Many, many people were oddly shaped.  Now, I don't think shape alters your talent level.  (It does sometimes limit your versatility.)  But here's the thing - whatever your shape, wear something that flatters you, no matter what the current styles are!  No matter what shape you are, some clothes flatter you and others do not.  If this is confusing, pay attention to how good costume designers dress you.  Copy that.  ( I wrote that and realized that's how I was dressed last night, so take that with a grain of salt - I could be wrong.  It sounds good, but that doesn't make it true.)

Never mind.  Let's take all the appearances out of it. Let's take away my commentary on others and focus on the base level truth.  I have been out of the auditioning circuit for too long because I was fortunate enough to be working, but haven't been lucky enough to book the next gig from the handful of auditions I had time for while working.  While I was basically put together and focused, I was scared.  Scared of not being good enough, scared of not showing what I'm capable of, scared of the fact that inevitably, some of the people on that room will surpass me and have careers like the one I still dream about but haven't yet achieved.

Don't mind my babble.  I'm just scared I won't work again, and I love working.