Life Cleaning

I am overwhelmed.

I'm home with my parents, one of whom has been diagnosed with a chronic disease, and the other of whom has not been diagnosed but has a far more chronic disease.  The house is full.  I can't even begin to describe it without using words that would get me in trouble should anyone in the family ever read this.  I will be driving back to Chicago from here, and here is a partial list of things it has been suggested I could take back:

• 4 wooden chairs
• two armchairs
• two round, glass-topped side tables
• a set of china
• 6 separate lamps, complete with shades
• clothing I last wore at age 14
• a chest of drawers
• all my books

And this is just this evening - more will be offered all throughout this weekend, I'm positive.  Here's the problem - I could take every one of those items away from this house and you would not be able to tell they were missing.  Because there is so much extra stuff in this house, that wouldn't even skim the surface of the clutter.

So the house is what it is, there's nothing I can ever do to change that.  But I came home with the idea that I would clean out my closet.  I haven't even touched the closet yet, and I've been weepy and sad and generally sort of fretful, because I'm reading through bad writing of mine from the past 15-20 years.  I'm trying to toss some of it, too, but no matter how bad it is, it's a marker, and some of it I can't part with because it is terrible but it describes what was going on at the time.

Did I mention I've been stung by a wasp as well, and that my arm is in a constant low-level pain?

And that reading things I wrote + emails is making me realized what a first class dope I am?

Ok, back to the closet.  Pete, I think your stuff is coming up soon - I think for a change I will actually enjoy going through a basket/box/envelope.