Coming soon...a new look

Yesterday, I'm roaming the farmer's market in my neighborhood when I see someone standing at the door of Starbucks waving energetically to me.  "Yo!"  It's R, with whom I was in a sometimes questionable show earlier this year.  He just broke up with his girlfriend, moved to the neighborhood and is meeting our friend J in a minute.  We chat.  It's wicked fun.  He tells me during his move his car got stolen - while full of stuff.  The cops found it that very night, stripped of parts, but most of the stuff was still there.  The thieves left credit cards and checks he had in there, but took all the cleaning supplies he had just bought at Target.  Naturally, we thought of terrible puns - "Dudes, we cleaned up on this robbery!"  (etc.)

J showed up (late, of course) and I started telling them about my new plan to change my image.  "I'm thinking of taking up smoking," I told them, "I just feel like I need to be more of a bad ass."  

"Shit, who you kidding?" R flatters me, "Girl, you're already bad ass - why you think I was calling to you from the door?  I was thinking, who is that hot chick...oh, man, I know her...and damn, she's already married."  

"Whatever, kiss ass.  I'm really looking fine, rocking this socks-with-shoes look.  I need a hair cut, and maybe a miniskirt..." 

R interrupts - "A leather miniskirt..."

"Please, you know I don't have a miniskirt, leather or not."  

"Just go home and grab any skirt, we'll cut it off for you, no problem."

"Or what about a face piercing?" J chimes in, helpfully.  "Tongue?  Nose?"

We continue being ridiculous until we decide that I will find a leather jacket, a leather miniskirt, get my haircut, buy some cigarettes, and somehow get a facial scar in a knife fight.  Then the two of them will come over and we'll do a photo shoot with me leaning out of the window of my new (not cool) car, smoking.  And post it on facebook.

This morning, J emails me that she walked outside to go to work and discovered her car had been stolen.   

I have two responses:

A)  I WISH I could go check to make sure my new car is still there, but I'm already downtown at work, and

B)  I better make this photo shoot happen stat before the car disappears.