Maybe I just forgot to take my vitamins today...
Sometimes, I read something so well written and moving that it throws all my pitiful, paltry efforts into the harsh light of reality. As if I'm coming home from my stained glass training all proud of the bird on a branch I made, and I walk under a Tiffany dome. When faced with artistry and talent, it is clear what I do is dabble and posture. Poorly! And irritate the sweet people who put up with me.
Then I go to rehearsal, and lucky me! I'm playing a character who isn't a good actor, and it doesn't seem like I'm even doing a very good job at that. And all the fun stuff I was doing is getting cut because my character is so unimportant that she shouldn't be doing anything that would steal the focus from the rest of the play. I kind of want to go hide in a corner until we open - it seems like it would make the play better.
And I sent a stupid email today that I regret highly. But the worst thing you can do in such a situation is write AGAIN and say, uh, sorry I said that, I really feel like an idiot now.
But maybe I should just take my vitamins when I get up at 4:30 am tomorrow.
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