Not bad

"I demand that you put that book down, turn off the lights in there, and come out here to look at the stars with me!"

You know, there are a lot of things that ease when someone is kind to you.  To one.  To me.  And a sky full of stars doubles as a net to hold in camaraderie.  I still feel old and mostly untalented, and I still feel on the fringe of this experience because I just don't do quite enough in these plays to take hold somehow, but on the whole, doing something artistic always feels better than doing nothing, and if I don't get to do much acting, at least the people around me are worth watching.

I might find a door back into my life in the next ten days.  The sun shines across the harbour as I ride my bike to rehearsals in the morning, and wildflowers splash over the paths.  I think life is rough sometimes, and saying goodbye to people permanently is hard, and I want to think about it and don't want to think about it in equal meaures.  At least, as I run on the hamster wheel that is my brain and my heart trying to process loss, I can get off long enough to look out over the lake.  There are blessings.  There are joys.  And kindness is being offered to me from many different sources right now.

Thanks, kind people.

Now, give me the blessing of a nap, and I might start acting human again.