Ballet Flats

I got to this audition about 5 pm.  It's now 11:15 pm.  Gah.

So, it's hard not to feel like cattle at this point, and in addition, not to be truly repulsed by actors in general, and how needy and irritating and self-centered we all are.  (There's no way I'm immune.)

And, not to be rude, but this particular audition is full of very young people, mostly just starting out, and they have that "everything is possible" sheen on them, and dammit, everything probably is possible for them.  But many of them currently lack a certain focus, clarity or self-awareness.  They're throwing themselves at the text and music without regard to detail or subtlety.

Well, and also there are about 40 people here, reading in endless combinations.  It's a LOT of people.

There's no getting away from the fact that this is a certain tier of work, and it's not the tier I want to be on.  I'm not ashamed of it, I just want more.  So if they cast me, and certain indicators make it seem likely they will, I would happily do the show as long as none of the other projects I'm interested in come to pass.  As in, it's better to do something than nothing, but there are things I would rather do instead of this.

They are all so young and eager!!!  Oh my god! If I hear one more story about the hilarious thing that happened to someone while they were playing some tiny part in a huge musical...

Also, there's a level of effort right now that I feel certain I wouldn't see at an equity audition - lots of performing to impress those of us in the lobby, instead of saving it for the audition room.

I'm tired of these little girls in their sundresses and ballet flats.  Does that make me a bitter middle-aged woman who spews venom at those who will succeed where she has failed?

I think so.  Damn.  Ok, Elsbeth....let it go.  Let it go.  Let it go. Let it go.