I feel sick. I feel like the second I get to next week (when I have very little work scheduled), I will find it impossible to get out of bed. I have to drug myself with books in order to get from hour to hour. Being awake and conscious right now feels unbearable.
Someone is dying. It's a long story. Not one I will tell - you're safe.
I am very close to sliding back into a dark dark place. I hope against hope to get some good news about getting cast in something awesome, but it's looking unlikely. Though a couple of months ago I thought I had been trapped in this dark place and I managed to wriggle back out, so maybe that will happen.
I need a yes instead of a no from something.
I may not get one. It may be a while before I can write another post. But hey, all four of you reading could use a break, I'm sure.
Someone told me once, bad days are good for the acting. Let's hope so. Let's hope so.
1 comment:
Unsolicited advice from someone with a similar personality. do not dwell on the negative. I get that this sounds crazy to not follow the thought until you "figure it out". But when you have a negative thought, try switching to your happy place instead of developing the negative story. I am slowly learning that you will NEVER "figure out" the negative thought by thinking about it more. I used to think I would. I was wrong. :)
Yes, this means deciding on a happy place/thought. This too can be challenging. For me it was a nephew, but now I have health concerns about the nephew, so he can't be my happy thought distractor. Now it is one morning I got up and watched the sun rise at kerr lake this summer.
Why not try practicing this new happy thought distractor thing while you are sick. I promise that nothing bad will happen from not ruminating on the bad thoughts.
Much love, hg
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