Not proud

I feel a little better.  I got some rest and I'm sitting in a coffee shop in the suburbs looking for a little perspective and getting it.  For instance - I am the skinniest and youngest woman in this coffee shop right now.  The most attractive woman is probably this foxy 70+ year-old woman with dyed red hair and oval ceramic earrings.  She's got big blue eyes and a sweatshirt that says "Snow Happiness" and she's lovely.

I don't have any makeup on, and I felt exposed and lacking a few minutes ago, in the hallway to the rehearsal room while everyone arrived.  In that group of people I am on the other end of the scale - nearly everyone is younger, and nearly everyone is skinnier.  These are facts that might not effect me the same way if we didn't face a dance mirror for the entirety of our eight hour work day.

Even if I were alone rehearsing in front of a dance mirror for 8 hours a day, my ego would definitely take a hit.  My flaws definitely overwhelm any good points when I look into a mirror. But the added bonus of seeing my flaws up against the good points of others is excruciating.

I don't know how to combat this problem.  Again, I don't want to think about this, I don't want it to ruin the phenomenally good time I am having.  These are good people.  I want to like them all, not just see in them all I cannot be.

The coffee shop is helping.  Age is relative.  Beauty is relative.  Being a real person will someday come in handy as an actor, I hope.  Vanity is my fatal flaw.  Let's see if I am capable of transcending it.